Nicknamed Camelot by onlookers, it’s a million miles from subtle, but indulgent to the highest degree. Top-end suites are butler-inclusive, but any of the 482 rooms provide enough plush and swish for the regally aspirant. Doubles from €252 (£180) per night, including breakfast.For a more intimate feel, downsize to the chic boutique Hotel San Roque, Garachico (00 34 922 133 435; ). The 20 rooms and suites marry Bauhaus and Baroque within a 17th-century manor. The largest of the Canary Islands offers impossible architecture, extreme sloping vineyards, tropical forest walks and dark forays into the arteries of a volcano. It remains a haven for sun worshippersbut to spend all your time concentrating on sun protection factors is a serious oversight. Culture lovers can enjoy the Municipal Museum of Fine Arts; musical interludes at the phenomenal Auditorium; and tales of conquest along the Santa Cruz historical trail while Gore-Tex groupies can be found under the leafy canopy of the Anaga Mountains or horse-riding through volcanic badlands.
Best hotelFor a truly plumped-up pillow, rest your head at the Gran Hotel Bahia del Duque Resort, Costa Adeje (00 34 922 746 900; ).

Valid for travel between 30 October and 9 December, the deal includes return flights from London Heathrow and room-only accommodation at the four-star Citigate Sebel Sydney.Prices correct at time of going to press and based on two sharing, unless stated Subject to availability.. There’s no excuse for a banal postcard from Tenerife. Guests can also get 25 per cent discount on spa treatments.£1,075…Spend two weeks in Sydney with Austravel (0870-166 2070) if you book by 16 August. Departs 2 August£545…Something Special Holidays (01455 852229) is offering the Casa Nicole, a three-bedroom villa with its own pool near Vale do Garrao in Portugal’s Algarve.

This b&b deal is valid until 31 August.£299…Spend a week in Corfu with Olympic Holidays (0870-429 4242). The price is based on four sharing and includes return flights from London Gatwick, car hire and seven nights’ self-catering.£769…For departures between 23 and 31 August, Virgin Holidays (0871-222 1203) is offering five nights in Johannesburg. For further information on Jersey contact Jersey Tourism (01534 500700; ).. For as little as…
£112…Stay overnight at the luxurious Vineyard at Stockcross Hotel near Newbury in Berkshire and get a free spa treatment and bottle of champagne when you book through Leisure Direction (0870-442 8930). “Are you all royalists?” I ask.”Oh yes, we take our allegiance to the throne very seriously. You see the Queen’s our Duke.”They’re strange these Jersey folk. But it seems to me there’s plenty to recommend their island without resorting to dubious anniversaries.Kate Simon travelled to Jersey courtesy of VLM Airlines (020-7476 6677; ), which offers return flights from London City to Jersey from £56.20 in August.